That moment when you have naughty thoughts... [NSFW]
This was not exactly the approach I had in mind when I made this blog, but, who am I to squander my mind and where it leads me?
After a lovely discussion with a lovely lady, I've decided to talk about private stuff. Sex, relationships, what is considered an ideal partner, so on so forth.
Do I have one? Somewhat. It is a little strange, though there is a kindred feeling for him, and I would hope there is one for me too, he is certainly sweet to me when we are not playfully sexting. We however have never voice called, I do not know how he sounds, nor does he know how I sound or even look. I'm afraid that if I did show myself to him, he would be disappointed because I am far from appealing to the eye.
I should give us a little more credit however, in Roleplaying communities we tend to play couples frequently, sometimes married, sometimes in open relationships, though always committed to one another deep down, and almost always extremely kinky~ ♥
However! In my past there have been moments of physical intimacy that one would instantly assume that I am 100% gay. Not entirely true, though not entirely false either. True, I have never had a sexual experience with a female, nor have I even had a romantic attraction to a woman. I can definitely say that I love some women, but more in a way that they are a treasured friend, whose friendship I deeply adore and would hate to see be lost.
I'm still sounding completely gay, let me try and sound a little more bisexual.
The majority of pornography I tend to view can be categorized into percentages: 70% Futanari, 25% Lesbian and finally that remaining 5% would be Gay. Why is that, if I have an apparent preference for boys? Well. Visually I tend to find femininity and female forms to be far more eloquent and visually pleasing to the eye, the way a woman's body curves when she is in pleasure, how soft and sensual they can move, it's just beautiful. Men are far too rough and blunt, lacking subtlety or fluidity. Boys however have penises. There is the good side. ♥
In my experience (More on that in a moment~) attraction is never always about appearance alone. Cliche I know, but it is very true. Certainly there can be a beautiful person who is pleasant to look at who may even entice me, yet I do not know that person, for all I know they are a complete scumbag. This is a perfect example of my School days, where the straight classmates are talking about the attractive girls and ask me which one I would enjoy sleeping with. I tell them none, get fingers pointed at me with "Hah, gaaaaay!" Well, joke's on you guys isn't it?
No, appearance is, if anything, a bonus that comes with the true beauty: Who that person is. The way their attitude makes you smile, the way that you can speak to them about how their day has been and be greeted with a warmth in your chest. -That- is what I would consider beautiful. Such as my 'relationship' with my Bae, who may be a little rough around the edges at times, but our playful conversations and rampant discussions about sex, hentai, BDSM and everything fetish related makes my day sometimes. It feels nice to be wanted. ^-^
Yet I digress, I have never had a sexual encounter with a woman. I've found that women in the Real World can be rather intimidating, but there are of course women whose company I relish, some who I highly enjoy and would like to get to know them further, two lovely people come into mind for such. But when it comes to boys? I have a little bit more on that...
So, I am a virgin. I would consider myself a virgin because I have never had proper, penetration sexual intercourse with anything except my hand. I have however, had some 'experimentation' on two boys years ago, at the house I've spent half of my younger life growing up in. I will not reveal names despite having no contact with either of them for about 10 years now, if not longer. We were all rather young, one boy was a blond, the other was a curly haired brunette. We were friends, used to build tree-houses, riding bicycles in the street, making pitfall traps out of twigs, leaves and a shovel to dig a hole, because army movies are fun inspiration like that, made for some trip-related giggles.
I am not entirely sure how it even began, or rather why it began. The first thing we did was just... Chill out, I used to have a big, bulky bed that was large enough for someone to sit underneath, because it has a little play area beneath it. That came in handy~ We were just sitting in there, and I cannot remember the conversation details, but we ended up taking our shirts off and making out, all three of us. One of us would kiss the other, then swap and exchange tastes, drooling frequently because we would smear one another's saliva into our bodies. Gosh, even now it sounds hot~ ♥
There is more, though it did not occur that day. It was the last time that any sexy experimenting occurred in my home, simply because the blond guy's family were frequently out, leaving him alone at home, which gave us plenty of chances to use that to our advantage. With the brunette, we mostly just kept kissing and touching each other's chests, little more than that. Eventually Curly Brunette stopped doing it and simply led his own life. He didn't move away or hate us, he just stopped bothering. I still socialized with him on a near daily basis.
But me and the blond? Oh, we had a bit more fun.
I can remember quite vividly, we were wondering what a penis feels like, so, what do two curious boys do? They try it, of course! He took his trousers down and exposed his rod, to which end I swiftly opened my lips and enveloped his shaft, I briefly closed my lips around it as he laid there in my mouth, just to see how it felt. During my School years, I tried to suppress these memories, I was influenced by peer pressure into believing that homosexuality was disgusting and gross. How ignorant were my classmates. How shallow I was for letting myself be influenced by such notions.
Fortunately now, that is not the case. And now that I am more comfortable with who I am, I can look back on such memories and smile, envious of my past self because the present self does not have anybody to do that with!!!
Some short time after that tasting, we went ahead and got to kissing again, sloppy kisses, naturally. Saliva play has a bit of a charm on me, I get flustered just thinking about a string of saliva hanging free from someone's lips, or maybe something more erogenous... Anyway. *Ahem*. We were a bit more naked this time, Blond and me, as he sat on my lap and pressed his body against mine, tongues clashing and lips colliding together eagerly. He stopped it and asked if I loved him.
At the time? I said exactly this: "What? Yeah."
Not very romantic, I know.
But even now, I do not feel a romantic memory for that person either. Neither of them I would really want as a boyfriend, they were certainly not my types, lacked a majority of my interests, yet I called them friends regardless. Why is that? I cannot recall. Yet we spend a fair bit of time that day straddling and kissing half naked in his garage, until we heard his parents car pull up, so pulled up our clothes we did and acted like we were just sitting there chatting. Yeah... Cock-blocked by the parents. Usually it is the other way around, is it not?
I do not want to drag on for too long, so I will leave it here. I would guess the morale of this story is... I need a boyfriend. ALSO, don't be afraid of who you are. Let it flow and do what makes you happy! Like my obsession with cuddling soft things! As I wrote this entire blog, I was snuggling one of my pillows. :3
After a lovely discussion with a lovely lady, I've decided to talk about private stuff. Sex, relationships, what is considered an ideal partner, so on so forth.
Do I have one? Somewhat. It is a little strange, though there is a kindred feeling for him, and I would hope there is one for me too, he is certainly sweet to me when we are not playfully sexting. We however have never voice called, I do not know how he sounds, nor does he know how I sound or even look. I'm afraid that if I did show myself to him, he would be disappointed because I am far from appealing to the eye.
I should give us a little more credit however, in Roleplaying communities we tend to play couples frequently, sometimes married, sometimes in open relationships, though always committed to one another deep down, and almost always extremely kinky~ ♥
However! In my past there have been moments of physical intimacy that one would instantly assume that I am 100% gay. Not entirely true, though not entirely false either. True, I have never had a sexual experience with a female, nor have I even had a romantic attraction to a woman. I can definitely say that I love some women, but more in a way that they are a treasured friend, whose friendship I deeply adore and would hate to see be lost.
I'm still sounding completely gay, let me try and sound a little more bisexual.
The majority of pornography I tend to view can be categorized into percentages: 70% Futanari, 25% Lesbian and finally that remaining 5% would be Gay. Why is that, if I have an apparent preference for boys? Well. Visually I tend to find femininity and female forms to be far more eloquent and visually pleasing to the eye, the way a woman's body curves when she is in pleasure, how soft and sensual they can move, it's just beautiful. Men are far too rough and blunt, lacking subtlety or fluidity. Boys however have penises. There is the good side. ♥
In my experience (More on that in a moment~) attraction is never always about appearance alone. Cliche I know, but it is very true. Certainly there can be a beautiful person who is pleasant to look at who may even entice me, yet I do not know that person, for all I know they are a complete scumbag. This is a perfect example of my School days, where the straight classmates are talking about the attractive girls and ask me which one I would enjoy sleeping with. I tell them none, get fingers pointed at me with "Hah, gaaaaay!" Well, joke's on you guys isn't it?
No, appearance is, if anything, a bonus that comes with the true beauty: Who that person is. The way their attitude makes you smile, the way that you can speak to them about how their day has been and be greeted with a warmth in your chest. -That- is what I would consider beautiful. Such as my 'relationship' with my Bae, who may be a little rough around the edges at times, but our playful conversations and rampant discussions about sex, hentai, BDSM and everything fetish related makes my day sometimes. It feels nice to be wanted. ^-^
Yet I digress, I have never had a sexual encounter with a woman. I've found that women in the Real World can be rather intimidating, but there are of course women whose company I relish, some who I highly enjoy and would like to get to know them further, two lovely people come into mind for such. But when it comes to boys? I have a little bit more on that...
So, I am a virgin. I would consider myself a virgin because I have never had proper, penetration sexual intercourse with anything except my hand. I have however, had some 'experimentation' on two boys years ago, at the house I've spent half of my younger life growing up in. I will not reveal names despite having no contact with either of them for about 10 years now, if not longer. We were all rather young, one boy was a blond, the other was a curly haired brunette. We were friends, used to build tree-houses, riding bicycles in the street, making pitfall traps out of twigs, leaves and a shovel to dig a hole, because army movies are fun inspiration like that, made for some trip-related giggles.
I am not entirely sure how it even began, or rather why it began. The first thing we did was just... Chill out, I used to have a big, bulky bed that was large enough for someone to sit underneath, because it has a little play area beneath it. That came in handy~ We were just sitting in there, and I cannot remember the conversation details, but we ended up taking our shirts off and making out, all three of us. One of us would kiss the other, then swap and exchange tastes, drooling frequently because we would smear one another's saliva into our bodies. Gosh, even now it sounds hot~ ♥
There is more, though it did not occur that day. It was the last time that any sexy experimenting occurred in my home, simply because the blond guy's family were frequently out, leaving him alone at home, which gave us plenty of chances to use that to our advantage. With the brunette, we mostly just kept kissing and touching each other's chests, little more than that. Eventually Curly Brunette stopped doing it and simply led his own life. He didn't move away or hate us, he just stopped bothering. I still socialized with him on a near daily basis.
But me and the blond? Oh, we had a bit more fun.
I can remember quite vividly, we were wondering what a penis feels like, so, what do two curious boys do? They try it, of course! He took his trousers down and exposed his rod, to which end I swiftly opened my lips and enveloped his shaft, I briefly closed my lips around it as he laid there in my mouth, just to see how it felt. During my School years, I tried to suppress these memories, I was influenced by peer pressure into believing that homosexuality was disgusting and gross. How ignorant were my classmates. How shallow I was for letting myself be influenced by such notions.
Fortunately now, that is not the case. And now that I am more comfortable with who I am, I can look back on such memories and smile, envious of my past self because the present self does not have anybody to do that with!!!
Some short time after that tasting, we went ahead and got to kissing again, sloppy kisses, naturally. Saliva play has a bit of a charm on me, I get flustered just thinking about a string of saliva hanging free from someone's lips, or maybe something more erogenous... Anyway. *Ahem*. We were a bit more naked this time, Blond and me, as he sat on my lap and pressed his body against mine, tongues clashing and lips colliding together eagerly. He stopped it and asked if I loved him.
At the time? I said exactly this: "What? Yeah."
Not very romantic, I know.
But even now, I do not feel a romantic memory for that person either. Neither of them I would really want as a boyfriend, they were certainly not my types, lacked a majority of my interests, yet I called them friends regardless. Why is that? I cannot recall. Yet we spend a fair bit of time that day straddling and kissing half naked in his garage, until we heard his parents car pull up, so pulled up our clothes we did and acted like we were just sitting there chatting. Yeah... Cock-blocked by the parents. Usually it is the other way around, is it not?
I do not want to drag on for too long, so I will leave it here. I would guess the morale of this story is... I need a boyfriend. ALSO, don't be afraid of who you are. Let it flow and do what makes you happy! Like my obsession with cuddling soft things! As I wrote this entire blog, I was snuggling one of my pillows. :3
